For the last few months I’ve had a lot of really intense gender feels and have been thinking about my identity in terms of being genderqueer/nonbinary. I wish I could be more open about it because I feel like a lot of younger people I know are going through a similar thing and I want them to not be afraid of it.
I think a lot of my fears are just internal. I’m really afraid of coming off as ingenuine and like I need to show some sort of burden of proof because I had a certain identity for a really long time.
The reality of things though is that I’ve always felt really weird about masculinity and Identifying as a cis dude. It’s always caused me lots of dread because I’ve never really been able to entirely understand it. Even now I feel like I need to retain some sort of male identity around people at things because I feel intimidated by them and feeling otherized. I have this fear that people will just stop liking me. It’s really dumb and weird.
I hate it. Woah
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh someone come over and distract me.
cute date idea: smash my skull in with a large rock and end my worthless life